MANCHESTER – One month. Exactly 31 days have passed since our lead investigative reporter, Mr. Erpel, vanished without a trace following his explosive revelations about GreenTree SE's "Project Chlorophyll". The rumour mill in the industrial sector has been boiling. Tonight, the waiting is over, but the answers only raise darker questions. At 03:30 AM this morning, Mr. Erpel was found completely exhausted on a remote stretch of beach on the English coast. The curious detail is that he was found by "strollers" who were walking on the beach in the dead of night. Coincidence? Or are dark figures now patrolling our coastlines? The local police, in their usual "thoroughness", subjected the half-dead and hypothermic man to a two-hour interrogation at the coastal precinct after pulling him from the water, all before even attempting to confirm his identity. A police spokesperson gave the following statement to our editorial team this morning: "We can confirm that Mr. Erpel was found by passersby on one of our beloved beaches. Thanks to their usual vigilance, they quickly called the police, whereupon we were able to determine the identity of the reporter who has been missing for a month. Mr. Erpel's condition is critical. Particularly concerning: Around 6:00 AM, he suddenly started screaming in extreme pain, prompting us to immediately transfer him to the nearest hospital. He is now under strict medical supervision. Further investigations will reveal more." What the police conveniently omitted from their official report, we learned from an attending paramedic. Right before Mr. Erpel lost consciousness, he ripped his eyes open, stared into the void, and apathetically whispered the exact same absurd words over and over: "Dö... dö... dö... batm..." Has the trauma broken his mind? And more importantly: What happens to him at 6:00 AM every day that the first rays of sunlight trigger panicked screams of agony?